The Morning Briefing: The Final Ride of Adderall Joe

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Astwellecker was surprised that Polaroids of his “corduroy chaps and tie-dye” years were a hit with the cul-de-sac smash burger devotees.

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The Democratic National Committee’s treatment of Joe Biden on the first night of the Democratic National Convention was, put mildly, not very respectful. President LOLEightyonemillion was forced to cool his heels long past his bedtime, which Matt first wrote about here.

Nothing says, “We still love this guy and there was no coup,” like making the President of the United States loll about in the green room while a parade of party lessers comes close to turning his Monday speech into a Tuesday speech.

I didn’t really pay attention to the clock, but I did watch much of the speech once they got the old boy onto the stage. It was obvious from the get-go that his medical staff had managed to pull of the same trick that they did for the State of the Union address earlier in the year. There was even more evidence that that was the case last night.

My RedState colleague Sister Toldjah posted some video of Biden during the sound check and walkthrough that happened earlier on Monday. It features the addled, half-asleep puppet president that we’ve all become so familiar with, especially this year. I wouldn’t have put money on him staying awake past the Early Bird Special after seeing that.

His handlers got the uppers cocktail timed right, however, and it was the wired, angry, SOTU version of Joe Biden who hit the stage as midnight drew nigh. Forget the soft mumbling, Screamin’ Joe was back. If you like emphatic finger-pointing, Biden’s DNC farewell speech was the motherlode. The puppet masters also seemed to have had him practice shaking his fist a lot.

Even when he stuck to the script it was nonsensical. Remember, the Democrats are still insisting that his presidency has been a shining success. Heck, they’re doubling down on it because Kamala Harris is just going to regift his lousy policies to the American people. He spent much of his time touting his alleged accomplishments but, because of whatever trickery they used to keep him awake, he seemed more angry than proud while doing it.

I mean, like, really angry. There’s only much magic that can be worked with stimulants; they can’t be fine-tuned for occasional subtlety.

The teleprompter to Biden’s right was his favorite, and he frequently turned that way and paused while searching for his place. And, now that I think of it, I can’t be certain if I ever saw him blink. On the occasions that his gaze overshot the ‘prompter, Biden immediately went into “English as a second language” mode. Also at RedState, my colleague Nick Arama posted some of the lowlights of the speech.

Although he’s too far gone to know it, everything about Joe Biden Night at the DNC was embarrassing for him. Here’s Victoria’s spot-on take about the evening:

And on Monday night, the first night of the Democrat nominating convention, Joe was asked to publicly bend the knee before Kamala Harris and kiss her ring.

This impotent man—too addled to run for the Democrat nomination, but not too far gone to “run the country”—was ordered to go out there and hope nobody notices how he suffers from electile dysfunction and can’t go on.

In effect, Joe Biden is being treated in the same way he’s treated the American people during his time in office: a second string collection of wallets to give him another nice suit and new home.

The Democrats’ flying monkeys in the mainstream media can tell all of the tall tales that they want, but Joe Biden’s occupation of the Oval Office has been an unmitigated disaster. His “GET OFF MY LAWN!” approach to patting himself on the back did a lot more to highlight that fact than to spin it.

Especially after his own party already told him to get off of its lawn.

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Everything Isn’t Awful

I bet Howie Mandel was called a juvenile platypus more than once when he was young.

A juvenile platypus.. 😊 pic.twitter.com/tVflLnNY7T

— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) August 19, 2024

SFK of the Day

Hate to Be a Buzzkill, but I Don’t Care About Rally Crowd Sizes

“On the flip side, the Democrats don’t need public displays of enthusiasm as much. There was none for Biden this year, of course, so I’m sure they are enjoying any evidence of Kamalamania that they see outside of MSM news and production rooms, however artificial it may be.

The thing that the Dems enjoy more, however, is seeing operatives laying plans to get people out for early voting and getting the ballot harvesting machine ready to hum.”

Shot of Vodka

If Harris Is Doing So Great, Why Did She Go Full Commie?

“Kamala Harris was cruising to victory — if the press was to be believed — running a “vibes” campaign with less content than a hobo’s day-old can of Sterno. So why did she make a hard left turn just days before her re-anointment as the Democratic presidential nominee?”

Bee Me

Rumors Swirl That Kamala Harris Is Being Influenced By Russian Agent https://t.co/KNKAC2xmro pic.twitter.com/7QDQnesvqi

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) August 19, 2024

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The Girls on the Bridge, 1901 pic.twitter.com/bAqAjJhjpv

— Edvard Munch (@artistmunch) August 5, 2024

Kabana Comedy/Tunes

#RIP Phil Donahue

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